A remarriage is complicated by the fact that there is always baggage. The biggest bag is the ex word.
No matter what kind of relationship you have with the ex – good, bad or indifferent – that baggage can cause issues with your marriage. You have to be careful with how you deal with it. Sometimes the littlest things can cause problems. Talking too much about or dealing too much with an ex, in any fashion, can cause some nasty emotions to crop up between you and your spouse. Anger and jealousy are two of the biggest and worst ones. They can start off small and insignificant, but if not taken care of properly, they can grow into monsters that will destroy you and your marriage.
So how do you handle the ex word?
- Always conduct yourself as an adult and a well spoken Christian when you are dealing with your ex.
- When it comes to talking about your ex, make sure that you limit yourself to things that need to be said and don’t dwell on the ex. In fact, if you are afraid that the ex is taking a front seat role in your remarriage, you can diffuse that by making the conscious effort to put your spouse back in that number one position.
Focusing on what you and your spouse have, and focusing on all that God wants you to be, will help you keep the ex where they need to be – in the past (or far into the background). Granted, those of us with children from former marriages face a harder battle with this, but with diligence, you and your spouse can win that battle.
-Loraine D. Nunley