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"I" is for Influence - ABCs of Remarriage |

“I” is for Influence

People influence us. Throughout our lives we are touched by those who influence us in good and bad ways. Those influences make us better people. Yes, even the bad ones can make us better people if we learn from mistakes. In the marriage relationship, your spouse should make you a better person and you should do the same for them. Your spouse is one of the most influential people in your life as you are in theirs.  This influence should be good.  It is our job to be a good and grounding influence in our spouse’s lives.  God gave us the responsibility to be the kind of influence that helps keep our spouses well grounded in their relationship with God and their relationship with us.  It is not a responsibility to take lightly.  There are times when we can influence our spouse negatively and we must be careful to avoid doing so.

How do we accomplish being a good, grounding influence?  The answer to that lies in the efforts we personally make in our relationship to God.  We must be actively pursuing Him in order to reflect Him to our spouse.  In addition to that, here are a few tangible ways to do it:

  • Be positive – negativity will kill a good relationship and, unfortunately, will spread faster than the positive
  • Be encouraging – we all need words of encouragement during difficult times
  • Be loving – make sure that your spouse is very aware of your love for them (no matter what the circumstances)
  • Be mature – Don’t pick, or involve yourself in, childish fights, name-calling, or gossiping
  • Be childish (in a good way) – have fun in your lives together
  • Be supportive – Sometimes, showing support is the best way to defuse tense situations
  • Be Godly – The more you reflect God, the better your influence will be
  • Be pro-active – Don’t let the bad get out of hand when you see it coming
  • Be prayerful – Go to God for help to carry out your mission
  • Be YOU – your spouse fell in love with you for being you, just be a better version of YOU.

-Loraine Nunley

How are you a good influence on your spouse? Tell us in the comments.


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