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"J" is for Judgment - ABCs of Remarriage |

“J” is for Judgment

Be prepared to experience it but quick to withhold it.

Let’s face it.  People are judgmental.  It is an unfortunate fact.  Remarriage is one of those things that is ripe for judgment.  Remarried Christian couples are subject to judgment from the church, other Christians, their children, their ex’s, their ex’s families, their own families and even strangers.  It is difficult to deal with judgmental people but it can also be wearing on your marriage.  Two types of judgmental people that can do the most damage to remarriage are family/friends and the church (which are often one and the same).

Judgment from friends and family

Remember that your friends and family love you and, though they may not go about it in the right way, usually want what is best for you.  So keep that in mind when you deal with their criticism, but ultimately, you and your spouse answer to God for how you live your life, not your friends and family.  What matters is that you are standing in God’s will.

Judgment from the church and other Christians

Now for some advice to those couples that have been hurt by the church and other Christians: First, As tough as it is, we need to forgive as Christ has commanded us to do.  Second, Don’t leave church altogether. Find a church and Christian friends that will minister to you and will allow you to use the gifts that God has given you.  If you are in a church that is not ministering to you simply because they are ignorant of your need, then you need to let them know about it so that they can fix it.  But it is okay to look for a different church. You need to find a group of Christians who will help you build your relationship with each other and God, not tear it down.

Whatever you do, do not let criticism from others, or the hurt they cause (intentionally or through ignorance), drive you away from God or away from each other.  Draw closer together as a couple and draw closer to God.

-Loraine Nunley

How do you deal with people who judge you? Tell us in the comments.


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