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"M" is for Making Up - ABCs of Remarriage |

“M” is for Making Up

Conflicts are inevitable in remarriage, or any marriage for that matter. We are not clones. We have different personalities. Those things that make us different from each other also cause friction at some point. Knowing this upfront will equip you to handle it when it happens.

Argue effectively, never in a way that will damage your relationship, and always be great at making up.

This is not about the merits of debate or how you can win an argument with your spouse.  This is about how to handle the inevitable differences in opinion that happen between people, particularly between you and your spouse.  Managing conflict is important in any marriage but because of the amount of baggage in a remarriage, it is especially important.

Here are a few tips for handling conflict:

  • Never resort to name calling no matter how mad you get.
  • Don’t finger point – most arguments are a two way street.
  • Always use constructive criticism to build up your relationship, not to break it down.
  • Never use the “D” word (divorce) as a threat – it is not an option this time around!
  • Always remember that you are ultimately on the same side.
  • Always remind your spouse that you love them.
  • Always listen to, not just hear, your spouse.
  • Don’t push your spouse’s “hot buttons”.
  • Don’t make the same mistakes over and over again – learn, change, and grow.
  • Take a deep breath and think before you speak.
  • Be slow to anger and quick to forgive.
  • Always make up with each other – don’t let things go unresolved to fester and rot your relationship.

-Loraine Nunley

How do you manage conflicts with your spouse? Share it with us by commenting on this post.


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