"B" is for Baggage - ABC's of Remarriage | www.lorainenunley.com

“B” is for Baggage

Marriage takes work, no doubt about it.  Any good relationship does.  But remarriage is a different animal.  Why?  It really comes down to one thing – Baggage.  Everyone has emotional baggage that they carry around.  Some of us have more than others.  The older we get the more we tend to have because we have lived longer and lived through more.  Even first marriages can have baggage.

But remarriages always have baggage.

There is no question about that because at the heart of the “re” marriage is a prior one.  No matter how long or short, good or bad, that first marriage was, it has created baggage that you cannot discard.  It’s just a fact.  A key thing to having a successful remarriage is not to ignore this fact.  We often enter into a remarriage as if this is a completely clean slate, but that isn’t the case.  It can’t be.  You can ignore the elephant (or suitcase) in the room, but it is there nonetheless.  So instead of walking around the elephant, we need to acknowledge it.

What can you do to deal with the baggage that you brought into the marriage?

Talk to each other about it.  It is extremely important in the success to your remarriage.  I cannot stress this enough. That doesn’t mean that you need to lay out every ugly dirty piece of laundry in the suitcase, but you do have to do something with it. Some baggage has to be unpacked and dealt with, while others just need to be acknowledged and set into a corner so you are not tripping over it every day.

Have you unpacked your bags?

-Loraine Nunley

What tips can you offer for dealing with baggage that is brought into a marriage? Tell us in the comments.

 

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