Gratitude is at the heart of many relationship problems. More specifically – lack of gratitude. It is difficult to be unhappy in a relationship when you are grateful to have it in the first place. You would think that remarried couples would have an easier time being grateful for their remarriage because they have a failed marriage behind them, but ironically, we do not seem to have an easier time with it. Perhaps it is just human nature to be more aware of what others have that we don’t. Perhaps we are afraid to embrace our remarriage because of our past failures. The why is not as important as making sure that we do something about it.
My remarriage is much stronger than my previous marriage was and I am grateful for that every day. If you find yourself looking at the grass on the other side because you think it’s greener, try being grateful that you have grass at all. Every day make a conscious effort to think of something that you are grateful for in your relationship with your spouse. If you can’t think of something, ask God to show you something. Then take that one thing and dwell on it throughout your day. Why are you grateful for that thing? Here’s an example: Let’s say that your choice today for one thing to be grateful about is that your spouse has a good sense of humor. Why are you grateful for it? Is it because it makes your life fun? Is it because it relieves stress? Is it because it makes your kids easier to deal with? Is it because you don’t have a good sense of humor and you admire that in someone else? Maybe it’s just because – you don’t know why. But you’re thinking about it, aren’t you? Dwell on that grateful item throughout your day. When did you notice that your spouse had a good sense of humor? Was there a specific thing that was said? Was it just something that you noticed in watching your spouse? You see, if you are keeping your thoughts busy being grateful for something, it is more difficult to be concerned with other things. After you have dwelled on that thing, share your gratefulness with your spouse. Let them know that you are grateful for it and why. Lastly, don’t forget to thank God for blessing you with that thing and your relationship.
What are you grateful for in your marriage today?