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The importance of touch

Touch is very important in your relationship. It can communicate so much more than words. You should make it a habit to touch your spouse every day. It could be a hug or kiss when you leave each other or when you see each other for the first time that day. A tender caress of the cheek or brush of the hair can be the difference between a good mood and a bad one. Take your spouse’s hand when you are out in public walking. Touch their shoulder when you lean in to hear them or to look at something together. A gentle hand placed on top of the knee or across the back can diffuse anger or tame a hurtful retort. The important thing is to let your spouse know, in a tangible way, that you are there for them and that you care.

Don’t force your attentions on each other; simply make your presence known. The right kind of touch can inspire and energize your relationship. It can take away or reduce anger and hurt. But you have to know your spouse and what the right kind of touch is because the wrong kind of touch can work in the opposite manner – it can hurt or make your spouse uncomfortable. Some people do not like being touched a lot. If you or your spouse is one of those people, then you have to figure out what amount and type of touching works. Sometimes, we just don’t know that we needed a touch until it was provided to us. Maybe you need to have a conversation about it or experiment to see what works.

My husband and I are not real touchy feely kind of people, but the relationship we have with each other is different. We have learned to use touch in ways that lift each other up, that lets the other know how loved they are and we’ve used touch in a way to non verbally communicate our support in stressful situations. It is very powerful to have a touch from your spouse just pull stress away from you and it is just as powerful to know that your touch is energizing your spouse. I’m talking about G-rated touch here. Touch, in its purity, can build and strengthen your relationship.

Do you know the importance of touch in your marriage?

-Loraine Nunley

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